This is the beginning of my decluttering journey. I’m here to share my story to help you and me both learn why we are the way we are.

PREFACE

Today I start my book. I have spent the last two months studying about clutter and disorganization, procrastination, and various other things that make me crazy. I hope this helps you in your journey and brings accountability to mine.

Wow. Can’t believe I started this journey 11 months ago and I’m right back where I started a clean kitchen and my continued struggle with being a slob. I started reading “A Slob Comes Clean” by Dana K White and I swear we are soul sisters. She explained my battle as if I had written my confession to the slob police. I am consumed with “projects.” I like the big things and I hate maintenance. I’m a week into just picking up my kitchen and doing the damn dishes. Let’s say it is a lot more enjoyable to cook when you don’t have to spend an hour cleaning up the explosion from the night before. Wash as you cook… what a concept? I know that is obvious to most people but it is just NOT how my brain works. Anyone that knows me, knows I’m a firecracker. Light the fuse and wait for the explosion. The fireworks are beautiful but the pieces are everywhere and someone has to clean it up, eventually. This is when I decided to write my book. This is an excellent prelude to my chaos. Like Dana, I am consumed with whatever “BIG” event is going on. This “Big Event” or project may be the form of a a large order, a vendor event or just another Friday night party but I become and obessed maniac. I run around like it is the end of the world and I must have it perfect even when I leave the rest of my life in disarray.

After reflecting on the last 50 years, I realize I have been on a mouse wheel getting nowhere. I spin my wheels but nothing changes. Well, I’m changing that. I know, I know you’ve heard it a thousand times but I really mean it this time. One day at a time, I will do the damn dishes and pick up the clutter and life will be easier. If I know what I have and can find it, I will be more productive. Dishes are done and they are drying. Laundry is in the washer and I need to go put the dry dishes away.

Chapter One

Let’s begin with some definitions. Deslobification – I love that term. Desloblification means to declutter your life and become less of a slob. I know you may find that term disturbing but it is important to call it as it is. The first meeting of my version of AA known as SA – Slobs Anonymous. This is the beginning of my version of Dana K White’s blog. Today, I am standing up in the circle saying “My name is Stephanie Wilkinson and I am a slob. I have been a slob as long as I can remember. I use excuses all the time but I have stuff everywhere that is of no use to me.”

I’m decluttering and just found a box of Ethan’s shorts and underwear. He hasn’t lived with us since the house burned down 5 years ago. WTH? Why oh why do I live this way? You know the time in my life when I was at the most peace? When our house burned down because we had only what was in campers. We had the bare necessities. If you have ever lived like that, you believe you will never have too much again. Well, I was wrong!!! My drawers and floors are bursting at the seams but I am happy to report that I have religiously done my dishes for a week and cleaned my cabinets off. What a big difference that makes. I am going to list today’s accomplishments.

1. Washed the dishes after each meal and put them all away.
2. Washed at least 7 loads of laundry and put them all away
3. Stripped beds and remade them.
4. Cleaned out the junk drawer in the kitchen AND put the towels in that drawer next to the sink. What a novel idea, lol?
5. I cleaned out the cabinet with my flour, sugar and spices consolidating many half-empty bags into containers.
6. I cleaned out two backpacks sitting on the bathroom floor that had pads in them from before my hysterectomy. Ladies, my hysterectomy was a year and a half ago.
7. Another miracle happened. I entered checks on two of my three accounts. I am so much further ahead of taxes than I ever have been. I am vowing to wash the dishes every day and enter checks every morning after they post at 9 AM. That would force me to know where my money is going and make tax season a breeze.

I vow to make my life easier. I have fought this for way to long because that’s NOT the way I roll but it has to be easier so I’m not stupid and I’m going to give it a try. If I dedicate 1.5 hours of my life every morning to washing dishes, doing books and walking, I will have accomplished milestones. Movement brings success.

Sunday is my new laundry day. I can do loads of laundry through the week but Sunday will be the day that I make sure everything is clean. I know how much space I really have if everything is its place. Goodnight fellow slobs. Today was a major accomplishment. That concludes chapter one. The beginning of this long journey.

Chapter 2

I’ve been on this new journey for about a week now and I’m happy to report the dishes are clean, the counter is cleared, 99% of the laundry is done and the bed is made. I look at my house and there isn’t clutter on the counters, the kitchen table, or the floors. Yes, that’s right! I know it’s unbelievable if you know me, the old me. The bathroom floor doesn’t look like a passionate love scene with clothes strewn all over the place and the kitchen no longer looks like a crime scene with ketchup and knives on the counter.

Dana explained in her book to deal with the stuff you see what is in your path and visible. With all this new found space, the stuff that I didn’t see before now bothers me. There are many cabinets that need to be cleaned out — oh that’s old terminology – decluttered. Cleaning is something you do when it’s dirty. My life isn’t dirt it is CLUTTER!!!! Crap Lying Under The Table Everywhere Regularly. I just made that up but isn’t it the truth?

Did I mention my bed was made? Who would have ever thought that? I know that is probably a norm for most but if you are anything like me. I used to think — why bother? It’s just going to be slept in again. That was my philosophy for EVERYTHING. I thought everything took too long to do. Have you ever stopped and timed how long something takes? That is another recommendation from Dana K. White. In reality most things take a couple of minutes if you haven’t let it pile up for days. Those dishes that I think I don’t have time for take me less than 5 minutes if I do them immediately. Wait a couple hours, and the task is 15 minutes. Wait until the next morning and it’s 30 minutes. You get the picture? Waiting increases the time it takes to complete the task exponentially. So don’t wait…DO THE DAMN DISHES.

Want to know what else I’ve accomplished – checkbook! I sat down and categorized the entries in my bank account. You know how much time that will save me in tax season? My 2-week nightmare will be a mere tallying and entering the information into the tax program. I won’t know how to act. Penalties be GONE!!! It’s like magic not rocket science.

Well the washer has stopped, so I need to put those two shirts in the dryer. Yes, two shirts that were left in the laundry bin. I did them too. Why not? So much time is wasted thinking about to do. I recommend non-negotiables. Make laundry and dishes non-negotiables. If you know you have to do them, you do them and you don’t waste time thinking about it or procrastinating.

I have determined a new strategy – take a picture. When I decided to take a picture, I noticed a few things out of place. My slob brain didn’t even notice them before. Want your kitchen ready for guests at any time? Take a picture. The reality jumps out at you or will cause you to pick it up like I did before I snapped the pic so no one saw it.

So as I cook tonight, I revel in the ease of it. I know where my cooking utensils are. I don’t have to worry about a trip to the emergency room because I broke my toe on the tumbling tower of Piz also known as my piles of dishes that I did but are still drying. I opened the fridge and easily saw what was available to cook. I no longer see the penicillin specimens also known as leftovers invading the refrigerator space. I didn’t have to move 15 things to find the package of sausage. I simply pulled out my cutting board, grabbed an onion and sausage and started prepping peacefully. Who would have know life could be so simple by simply throwing away the 5 ketchup bottles and 3 year old salad dressing and doing the dishes?

This picture is what my kitchen normally looks like as I begin to cook. Well cooking meant I had to ”clean” first. No wonder I dreaded supper time when I actually enjoy cooking. The prep was exhausting because I aimlessly searched for utensils, pots, pans and ingredients only to realize I was out of something or it was now classified as a scientific experiment because it was molded.

Not anymore I vow to myself just Do the Damn Dishes.

Chapter 3

Day whatever but we are going to call it Day 11 because I know I have been on this journey for well over a week. I’ll look at my downloads to see when I downloaded Dana K. White’s first book because we all know I need a daily dose of inspiration. I am consumed with projects. My life is one big project. I often get caught up in the project and everything else goes straight to H E double L. Anyone else feel like that? Anyone that sees my productions thinks I have it together. I’m much like my grandma, turn up the heat and I dance like a chicken. After listening to some podcasts and reading books, I realized I AM programmed that way. I have always used that as an excuse. I would say, “That’s just the way I am.” Well so are addicts, many have addictive personalities but that’s not an excuse. We can all learn skills and strategies to overcome these obstacles. I was addicted to chaos and I am the official “Chaos Coordinator.” I even have a t-shirt that says so therefore, it is official.

In my research, I realized I am probably ADHD as well. My brain NEVER stops. I always have a big plan and a big idea. Procrastinating brings relief and the impending deadline now only 24 hours away floods my body with adrenaline and causes me to focus so I get stuff done. That is the way I’m wired. When I am forced to focus, I can make things happen. Just ask my mom who witnesses the hurricane before every show or event I plan. I recently learned the eye of the hurricane is still. If I can get to the eye and focus, I can survive the hurricane.

Piss me off or schedule a party and watch me perform. It causes me to hone in on the task at hand. People like me and maybe you since you are reading this aren’t really slobs or pigs even though that’s what it looks like to the outside world. We are usually creative, obsessed human beings with big ideas. We want to change the world and make it big. We don’t want do the dishes, sweep the floors or do the laundry. The dishes seem like an insignificant task but in reality they are the stepping stone to a magnificent, organized life.

I have taken my 30 minutes to write and give you some perspective from a slob brain. Now I must go make sure all the dishes I laid out to dry last night are picked up and walk my mile and start my day. Lots to do and procrastinating isn’t going to get it done.